4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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