Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm having to shit out rocks
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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