I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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