She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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