another moral hangover. fuck.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize