I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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