Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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