I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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