I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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