My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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