I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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