It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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