"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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