Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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