That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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