the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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