Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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