Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize