I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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