Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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