Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize