why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize