i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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