I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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