Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
false alarm, still single
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize