I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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