ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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