I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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