mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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