guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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