Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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