come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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