Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and she was petting her beer can
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize