It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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