as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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