her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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