R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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