TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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