So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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