just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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