I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize