you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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