The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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