forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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