The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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