The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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