it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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