IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize