Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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