So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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